Save the Pearls: Chapter 15 (Or, Rap Artists did Climate Change)

Apologies this recap’s delay. Shit in real life got busy.

Previously, on Save the Pearls: The Crew landed in the Amazon, and Bramford was greeted as a Aztec Jaguar Messiah by the Huaorani, who are native to the Amazon. Somehow Eden and her father didn’t spontaneously combust when they stepped into the equatorial sunlight. Now, they’re off to “La Zona Intangibale” which is bafflingly translated to mean “No-Man’s Land.”

Save the Pearls: Chapter 14 (or, Aztecs in the Amazon)

Previously on Save the Pearls: Eden was hankering for a Life-Band, and she harassed the flight attendant Daisy into telling her where they were going. The answer? THE AMAZON. Also she had rape fantasies about Bramford, etc. You know the drill.

Save the Pearls: Chapter 13 (or, Chimney-Sweep Chic)

Previously, on Save the Peals: Eden whined about how her dad doesn’t love her, and whined about Bramford taking her cell-phone earing, and whined about how sexy he was, and whined and whined and whined.

Save the Pearls: Chapter 12 (or, Sex, Drugs, and A Goddamn Nerd)

Previously, on Save the Pearls: Eden, Bramford, and Dr. Dad escaped on an airplane. then they escape on another airplane at Mach 20! Eden thinks Bramford is a major fucking hottie, but also thinks about how he’ll be rejected from society due to his new catface? Then she went on an Oxy bender. Yeah, it’s kind of all over the place.

Save the Pearls: Chapter 11 (Or, A Compelling Case for Bestiality)

Previously, on Save the Pearls: In the span of one minute and thirty seconds, Bramford and Eden scared off the FFP, evacuated the lab, got on Bramford’s airplane, and took off. Then the lab exploded, and Eden was sad about her dog probably dying in the explosion.