Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 16: Justice

Previously, on Handbook for Motals: After Zade’s trick goes catastrophically wrong and she ends up unconscious, she’s hospitalized in the “ICU Unit”. Mac and Charles go with her. There’s tension between the two until it it revealed that Charles is actually Zade’s father! Zade’s mother calls, and tells Charles that the only way to save Zade’s life is by bringing her back to Tennessee. After convincing the doctor to let him sign Zade out, Charles gets Mac on board with the plan and they take off. Also, Zade knows all of this because she “pulls people’s memories”. Yeah.

As Chapter 16 opens, we’re told that Mac is alarmed about Charles’ statement about  needing him in Tennessee. Thankfully, everything that happens between the ending scene of Chapter fifteen and landing in Tennessee is summarized. But as soon as we land in Tennessee (which happens around dawn), the unnecessary level of detail returns.

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 15: The Tower (Part Two)

Previously, on Handbook for Mortals: Zade and Charles did their brand new magic act, using magic that is emphatically “strong and volatile.” Midway through, Zade starts feeling ill. While she’s able to pull through and be perfect (Black Swan style) she collapses as soon as it’s over. Zeb possibly casts a spell, and Riley calls 911. Before losing consciousness, Zade’s only request is that her mother is called.

So, I bet you’re thinking that it’s going to be third-person italics until Zade wakes up, right? Or maybe you’re thinking that we’ll jump straight to her waking up and continue from there. Neither of those happen. Instead, we still get to be narrated to by Zade in first person, although Lani Sarem finds a, um, creative way to get around little inconveniences like an unconscious narrator.

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 14: Wheel of Fortune

Previously, on Handbook for Mortals: Zade and Mac canoodled during rehearsal, and Charles saw, which prompted a discussion between Mac and Charles about if Mac loved Zade. While on a walk with Mac, Zade punished a reckless bicyclist by crashing his bike. Then, she and Mac argued about the merits of tarot cards. Finally, Zade and Jackson went to see Deadpool a funny Ryan Reynolds superhero movie, and it is revealed that Jackson feels more open to tarot cards than Mac does.

Also, I’m going to add a content notice for domestic violence? Mac gets a little bit abusive in this one.

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 13: The High Priestess

Previously, on Handbook for Mortals: Zeb cryptically told Zade that she needed to take something more seriously, and Zade didn’t bother to get him to clarify. Zade continued to make friends when she heard Sofia singing. Mac and Zade took a walk through the park, which ended in romantic tickling and a kiss. The next day, Zade literally ran into Jackson, who hit on her, and a random little girl recognized Zade and told her how amazing she was. Jesus Christ, Act Two drags.

Yet again, we open with a statement about multiple weeks having passed since the previous chapter’s end. Life has been going well for Zade, but she hints that things may soon take a turn for the worse:

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 10: The Hanged Man

Previously, on Handbook for Mortals: Eleven guys saw Zade walk by and were rendered speechless by her beauty. Jackson and Mac talk about Zade, and that all is fair in love and war. An audio tech named Drew is introduced, never to be seen again, possibly because Mac is a serial killer.

We open “a few weeks” after the Lemonade Incident. Zade is at a bar with some coworkers. She says she’s still trying to figure out the “‘Mac and Jackson’ situation,” but that whenever she’s hanging out with either of them, it never gets brought up.

That said, I could tell they were both starting to get antsy an I knew that sooner rather than later they would want some kind of answers

This is the least dramatic love triangle I’ve ever seen. What’s the point of having a love triangle if the love interests are laid back about it and the main girl feels vaguely fond of each?

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 8: The Star

Previously, on Handbook for Mortals: Jackson invited Zade to come see his show, and Mac took her on a magic motorcycle ride that ended with passionate kissing. Zade went to the mall to buy a dress for her date, and ran into Carrot Top and Wayne Newton. Finally, a random magic girl attacked Zade, said some cryptic shit, jumped into a bright orange Lamborghini and sped off.

Just a warning: this is a long one.

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 6: The Moon

Previously: Bitchy Sofia hit on Mac, who rejected her. Mac asked Zade to go scuba diving, and accidentally said a sex joke. Tad made fun of Mac for refusing to admit that he’s into Zade.

We start a few days after the last chapter ends, and Zade is camping with the cast/crew. She says she likes the outdoors, and that she has no survival skills. She says she should have put up her tent right away, but procrastinated and went swimming until it was nighttime, and now she has to set up her tend in the dark.

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 5: The Emperor

Perviously, on Handbook For Mortals: Zade had a vision about someone falling, but couldn’t figure out what it meant until it was almost too late,  and had Zade not pushed her at the last minute, Sofia, the bitchy girlfriend of their boss, would have fallen 50 feet to her death rather than flat onto her back in a pool of water. Luckily, she’s fine. After that, Zade and Mac reconciled and learned that they have a lot in common.

This chapter opens in the third-person italics, and we learn that much of the cast and crew of Charles Spellman’s magic show are gathered at a bar for someone’s birthday.

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 4: The Empress

Previously, on Handbook for Mortals:

Zade met Jackson, who is a total hottie. Also, Mac perved on her while she was undressed, and when called out on it, threatened to murder her and his best friend. It was dull.

Did any of that matter? Of course not. This time, Zade begins:

Considering how much I wanted to keep my secrets, well, secret, a few days later I probably brought a little too much attention to myself.

Even when Zade wants to be discrete, she can’t help but to remind everyone that the World Revolves Around Her (this is #8).

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Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 2: The Hermit

When we last saw Zade, she was reeling from her audition and celebrating the start of her new, “somewhat normal” life. as a performer in Las Vegas

Now, Zade is. . . still reeling from her audition. She’s waiting for Beth, the assistant from the last chapter, to bring her some contracts. She’s trying to keep herself from falling asleep, but drifts off for a moment.

“Hey there, Sleeping Beauty,” Cam said softly after lightly touching my shoulder and sitting down next to me. “It looked like you met everyone that works here today. The line to say hello to you after your performance resembled an autograph signing by a boy band. I don’t really know what the latest one is, but Backstreet, Five Directions, One Second of Winter, 98 Celsius, O-city, NSYNC Boys or Old Kids on a Curb or something like that.”

“Sleeping beauty?” I can’t tell if Cam is hitting on her, or if he’s just gay.

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